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A Taliban suicide bomber pulls the plug and... BOOOMM!

A short while later he finds himself on a huge white staircase leading towards Heaven, so he starts to climb them. After an hour or so climbing he arrives at a landing where an old man in white robes and a long flowing beard is sitting surrounded by ledgers.

'Excuse me sir he says, are you Mohammed?

'No,' replies the old man I am St Peter, Mohammed is further up the stairs.'

'But this is great news,' exclaims the bomber, 'Mohammed is higher than St Peter I can hardly believe it!'

He continues up the stairs, after another hour of hard climbing he arrives at another landing and standing there is a serene looking man with long hair and a beard.

'Excuse me sir, are you Mohammed?'

'No,' replies the man, 'I am Jesus, Mohammed is further up the stairs.'

'But this is amazing news,' exclaims the bomber, 'Mohammed is even higher than Jesus! Martyrdom is wonderful!'

With this he continues ascending the stairs, after two long hours of hard climbing he arrives on a huge landing, there sitting on a magnificent throne is another old man with flowing white robes, a beard and long white hair.

'Excuse me sir, are you Mohammed?'

'No replies the old man, I am God.'

'But this is incredible news!' screams the bomber, 'Mohammed is even higher than God. I am so excited I cannot believe it, martyrdom is thrilling!'

'You look tired my son,' says God, 'Would you like to sit down and rest a while?'

'Oh yes,' replies the bomber, 'I am very tired and would love to rest before I carry on. Thank you.'

The bomber sits and God says, 'You look thirsty my son, would you like a cup of coffee?

'Oh yes please,' replies the bomber. 'I am most thirsty'

With this, God turns and snaps his fingers and shouts, 'Oy Mohammed! Two coffees over here, you towely-headed bastard and make it snappy!'